tantrums of pearls

there is no centre here. no big blue building that charges ten dollars to reveal all the closed doors and books....i keep thinking that today at some time or tomorrow sometime the moment of clarity and comfort will await me with a warm hug of courage and love. so i walk around the same blocks so see if something has changed...maybe someone in one of those big apartments will see me walking by and yell it all out through their screen window. i hate people that search- you can sense their itching and wiggling..looking over their shoulder incase the "sign" walks by behind them and is gone for good...but whats worse i think, is that i might be one of them. ...not the sign, but the searcher. for what? for the videotaper to tell me "thats a wrap". to see more black or to see more white...just less grey please....and i dance and cry because i can because i have to do the things that some can't for their sake. than i realize i am a lunatic with out the tick. and without the moon.
the begger down the street only has one eye. but i swear its all he needs. and i probably love him as much as anyone else. not at all and all entirely. is that like luke? am i hated by God? am i acceptable to God? am i worth any of what i have? am i already dead? is the only things that make me feel alive the things that will kill me?

big cheese

also i like bringers of the red. and ninja's. and dream website's. and black boots.as usual. and..running away very fast

leonard cohen

leonard is seventy. thats what it comes down to. me and a seventy year old man. and the one who told me to stop looking. nausious making romanticism. paw paw and scrape away my day to get back to yesturday and that barking dog. freeze frame. don't make me answer my phone and hear the good nothing generic today and more and more. please i am seriously strangled by what i am not....so do what you want, and if you can't- do what you can....pretty much sums it up...andi know its only you shamstomp that reads this...but right now i want to vomit up feeling alive yesturday for 5 secounds

tootall

good thing for global warming. soon mosquitos will be 5 feet long, and carry the WholeDangNile Virus.