does this make sense

I live in suburbia. I am married with child and cat. I drive a chevy. I am not a great cook. I do not have a fascinating life on the exterior. I never travel. I do not read or listen to music. I am not overly educated or wise or smart. I am getting wrinkles, a few grey hairs; I am not buff. My closet even ventures latley on the mundane.
How can these things be?
Because life happens in the blanks.
With coffee in the morning with Scott when I am still grumpy but kinda not, when my hair is a mess and were all in jammies
When Hope blabbers and giggles and crawls and is a mommasgirl
When Scott is patient with me against all odds and I thank God for small miracles
When Sharms confesses a struggle and I remember I can't forget to pray for her
When patiently continue has meaning, and its hard, and rich, and real
When Aarons gone and I still have mourning to do

The blanks can get pretty busy actually- and its all I can do to keep up. Best and All is alot

please remove and delete your nakedness from facebook.. or atleast have the decency to remove my eyes from it...

grapevine

your limb may fall, your angst revealing, lonestar activist not retreating, gonna getcha nowhere...human love is not divine, human thinking is not divine, human wisdom is not either. i sound selfboastfull, but really i have been there and you've got nothing to stand on.

don't get political

usually not
but can't help but notice
economic woe and war
what is the deal man?
sure i'd like to stay at home and paint all day
why should your government and others wallets support your idol cause?
for the name of culture?
culture will exist regardless.. thats why its called culture
believe it or not the world can survive without your exploits
get a job

dear sarah palin from the south (or north).. please withdraw and work for GoodHousekeeping..you are the biggest threat to international relations...

melon

its been so long/ feels like i 'm hacking in...
can't shake the feeling of dread
is it in my head
or out there for real
just picking up on your vibrations
...
seeing your plot.. more then 6ft under..
too much for me
don't get it..can't touch it...

winter is coming- the harvest is past
what roots remain?

mom used to say- if your bored, your the one who is boring.. tooshay SP?)///
figure it out man.... i am not your 24 hour convenience store entertainment centre.
sometimes life is boring- specially here in suburbia. who doesn't know this? addicts, cheaters, sly ones? everyone who is not getting into troouble has moments of boredom- is that boredoom? its life. LIFE. life here in north america- be glad you have the pleasure of being bored- -which many of our human counter parts can't imagine. LIFE not WIFE... wife is not your problem. I have always been me-
oh the irony,...

its been too long- and i forgot my password- could not find how to get here, starving to write- going a little mental. things have changed for the better- just need some free room to vent- where only strangers or more likley no one will be witness.

remember-red- ode to november 11

so, that was pretty nice of you folks.
thanks for fighting in world war one and two
thanks for dying, and shedding, and aching
for me to live free...
for us to live
for us to live and take life for granted- freedom for granted- heat/health yada yada
hey thanks greatgreat whatevers who starved, and froze, and suffered, and most of all who hoped that there would be a better day for their children, and their children's children.

mercy

please deliver me from the holding room; theres gotta be a door here somewhere.
my rust must turn to trust

4 seasons

what i mean is,
isn't it great to feel new
when it is snowing
when cheeks are pink
when change brews courage
when dawn is real
there is a time to break down and a time to build up

although

some works of art are perfect. some moments are too.

impromtu unchosen hiatus

heres to wolfberry goji juice, organic rooibus tea, omega 3-6-9, acupuncture needles, massage therapists, rapid eye movement psychotherapists, unemployment, diaphramatic breathing, yoga 101, green veggie juice, red veggie juice, & pink juice x2. heres to sleeping in and napping and still needing moments of rest, heres to ying and yang and om and still noticing my nerves writhe, heres to my mental helmet and egg shaped energy protector and still my ears beg for mercy. Time and Patience. Time and Patience are my alpha and omega(low caps). I don't want your yelling, your bass, your T.V., your news, your reality sleeze shows, your speeding in construction zones, your botox, your implants, hair peice, empty nest. i don't want your traffic, trash talk, proud jaunt, hard heart, i don't want your fluorescent light bulbs, comet smelling sterile plugged in buzz electric magnetic nightmare. i want still, and breathe and nature, and quiet, and God and peace, and protection, and gentle, and slow, and heal, and new, and balance. heres to my earned tomorrow. Time and Patience... and debt

reality

No I am not your other half, nor would I want to be a replica of you. Thank you for reminding me of my own authenticity, and my own irreplaceable power. I wish you lessons and failure and victory. I wish you faith.

smoke and ashes may have been a fire, may become a fire, is not a fire

creepy

If I am creepy because I have courage to be honest and put myself on the line and do what is needed and not waste my time then I will take the label. Mostly what I think is creepy is people circulating the earth who believe themselves to be right and honest and have not even begun to understand the first steps of respect for others. I think it is creepy that you have read a bounty of books on what it is to be superior and you are an empty shell. You are wholly selfish and remarkedly rude. Your kind I do not need. Your kind I pity. Liars are chicken shits. It takes courage to be honest, it takes integrity to do and be what you say you are. You know nothing of honest or integrity. You know nothing of effort.
Freedom from you is a gift not sought but priceless.
You have never burned a boat in your life.

so sick of people who don't know why they think what they think

if you are going to believe in something or not believe in something, if you are going to agree with something or not, if you are going to live by something, or choose to not live by it; it is best that you figure out that thing that you so eagerly hold on to, or what you so adamantly run from. use your brain and educate yourself as to what exactly it is to your best ability, and than you may say that you are or are not a part of something or agree or disagree with it. left- over opinions do not count and only spread ignorance and false sense of self.

only bull horns will do thanks
life is way too short for antics of worry
i can access and reaccess
either way i am the same

IF I AM EVER THE BEING WHO SPEAKS LOFTY GOOD INTENTIONTED INTELLECTUAL COURAGEOUS WORDS AND IS ACTUALLY A HYPOCRITE BECAUSE I DO NOT UNDERSTAND MY OBLIGATION AS A HUMAN BEING TO HAVE THE COURAGE TO LIVE UP TO MY WORDS THAN IGNORE ME AND PASS BY BECAUSE MY LIGHT IS FALSE AND MY WORDS ARE EMPTY RYTHEM; MY EXISTANCE MARRED. IF WE ARE NOT MORE THAN OUR CIRCUMSTANCES, IF OUR INTEGRITY ONLY REMAINS INTACT WHEN NOT TRIED THAN WE ARE NOTHING MORE THAN A DEAD FISH FLOATING DOWN THE CURRENT. VICTORY DOES NOT OCCUR ALWAYS NOR IS IT EASY; BUT VICTORY CAN BE THE ONLY GOAL. THINGS DO MATTER AND NIHILISM WAS NEVER.

a must

read the book
mans search for meaning by viktor e. frankl

betterment

No one is perfect, not me, not you, not my boss. No job is perfect, not mine, not yours. No life is perfect, not mine, not yours. No personality is perfect, no idea, no love, no story, no city, no country, no mind, no heart, no piece of Art, no song on the radio. Every moment/situation is a hodge/podge of variables and disorder. All we can do with all this imperfection and disappointment is hope for the best, assume the best, do our best, and leave it at that. Striving and hoping may not make anything better, but it is the purpose and desire for betterment that is valuable and soothing to our hearts/minds. Dwelling in cynicism and loss will provide nothing but itself.